... Actually, returning it: today I’ve returned to the library many of the books I’ve had out on loan – some for more than a year: many were read cover-to-cover, a few hardly read at all, but just having them available (in separate piles over part of my floor area) provided a kind of comfort. They served as sources of quotations, inserted in hope of making my text sound more authoritative (or simply making me seem more well read, to dress up my work in terms of academic respectability). The truth is, however, that much of what I read in those books I barely understood – and I have to attribute my non-comprehension to innate lack of intellectual grounding rather than to the authors’ inability to write clearly. In terms of my own writing, I perceive, the effect has been the production of an equally obscure text – in a poor (because non-comprehending but nevertheless awestruck.) imitation of what I think I’ve read, in terms both of content and style. I discussed this briefly with Anna Souto (DArch course director) this morning, and she reassured me that my style will gradually become less obfuscatory as my confidence in respect of the content grows, so that – by the time I get to Document 5, the main thesis, which is actually the only part that my external examiners will read (there will be two of them, I was advised) – I should have attained mastery in terms of intelligibility. Removing the intimidating books (even if temporarily only) has been a first step in this direction, but now – for Document 4 (Research Study 2) – I am resolved to use rather simpler language, perhaps presented in an unusual format which I must run past my supervisors before I progress to far along the proposed road. I intend to run my Appendix (describing ‘Action’) as a parallel text alongside my ‘Research’ (comprising commentary upon the former), aiming to demonstrate how my insights have been deeply rooted in ‘live’ engagement as a practitioner, on the grounds that this approach would be eminently appropriate within the ‘Professional Doctorate’ context in which I am operating.
Taking Stock
